Life is being a Bitch

Hey guys, this is more or less just to say that due to some personal family reasons, I’m not going to be updating the blog for a little bit…

CALM YOUR SHIT, BITCHES!

I said for a BIT. Not never again… God… But yes, life is being a somewhat mega bitch than usual. Must be on it’s period or something.

And before you ask, Game of Thrones Season 3 will not be uploaded tomorrow. I’m sorry, but with all this crap on my mind, it’s extremely hard to write at the moment. But fear not, I shall return soon.

Pretty much

Pretty much

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Game of Thrones Review: Season 2

First and foremost, if you haven’t seen my Season 1 review of Game of Thrones, click here in order to read that one first… Or don’t, whatever. But regardless, let’s get this bitch rolling and move onto to Game of Thrones Season 2.

The Seven Kingdoms

In the North

We start this season by advancing several months from the end of Season 1. Westeros is in an all-out Civil War, with Robb Stark of the North, Stannis Baratheon, Robert’s brother and Joffery’s “uncle”, entering the picture, along with Renly Baratheon as well.

Grey Wind is not pleased that Heroes got canceled

Grey Wind is not pleased that Heroes got canceled

Robb’s continued victories against the Lannisters begin to make him a viable threat to Tywin Lannister, after the young Stark earned the nickname “The Young Wolf”. In order to strengthen his position in the war, Robb sends out Theon to his homeland on the Iron Islands to gain an alliance with Balon Greyjoy. He also sends his mother, Catelyn, to talk with Renly Baratheon about forming an alliance, since Robb has no interest in the Iron Throne but only the independence of the North. During a battle, he also meets a young woman named Talisa.

After failed negotiations with Renly (Which I’ll go into later), Robb and Catelyn find out that Theon has betrayed them and attacked Winterfell. Robb agrees to let the bastard of his bannerman, Roose Bolton, capture Theon and bring him back so that Robb may execute him properly. He also insists that his brothers’, Rickon and Brandon, safety is paramount. While Robb and Talisa are out to gather medical supplies, Jaime Lannister kills 2 Karstark men, which results in his life being threatened by Rickard Karstark.

In order to get her daughters back, Catelyn sends Jaime along with Brienne of Tarth to secure her daughters’ releases. Robb is furious and has his mother kept under guard. During their time together, Robb and Talisa grow close to one another and Robb breaks his oath to the Freys in order to secretly marry Talisa.

The Iron Islands and Winterfell

So... We should totally do what the Lannisters and Targaryens do... If you know what I mean

So… We should totally do what the Lannisters and Targaryens do… If you know what I mean

Theon returns to the Iron Islands in order to treat with his father, but finds that his father, Balon Greyjoy, does not want an alliance. He reveals to Theon that he wants the North attacked and sends out his children, Theon and his sister Yara, to accomplish this. In doing so, Theon betrays the Starks by drawing out a garrison from Winterfell and claims Winterfell, which Bran has been named Lord of. He reluctantly surrenders Winterfell to Theon, who then executes a man, Ser Rodrik Cassel, although he does not cut his head clean off.

Theon is seduced by Osha, one of the wildlings who attacked Bran in Season 1, and she uses this chance to escape with Bran, Rickon, and Hodor. Theon is furious about this and kills 2 boys from a nearby farm, burning their bodies and displaying them as “Brandon” and “Rickon”. He is wanted by everyone in the North for killing the Stark children, but Theon refuses to give up Winterfell. When Winterfell is about to be attacked by the Bastard of Bolton’s army, Theon gives a rousing speech, but is betrayed by his own men.

Bran, Rickon, Osha, and Hodor are in hiding beneath Winterfell in the crypts, and emerge to see that their home has been  all but destroyed, with dying flames and dead bodies everywhere. They then head north, to the Wall.

Dragonstone

I'll give you until Dawn. You let me play as Mario and I'll let you live

I’ll give you until Dawn. You let me play as Mario and I’ll let you live

Stannis Baratheon, aka The King of the Narrow Sea, converts to the Lord of Light at the behest of the Red Priestess, Melisandre. He learned from Ned Stark that Joffery was the result of an incestuous relationship between Cersei and Jaime, and sends ravens to every corner of Westeros, spreading the truth. In Stannis’ eyes, and technically true, he is the proper claimant to the Iron Throne. However with Renly claiming the Iron Throne and Robb Stark wanting the North’s independence, Stannis refuses to align himself with either faction. While Davos, one of Stannis’ closest advisors, recruits pirates to gain their ships, Melisandre and Stannis have a night together, with Melisandre promising Stannis an heir.

It should be noted that Stannis does not have any sons, as they were all still-born. He has a daughter, but she has this rare condition that makes half her face look as though she has scales on them.

Stannis soon agrees to meet with Renly in order to parley a truce between the two, with Stannis allowing Renly to have his old position of power if he renounced his claim. Renly refuses and Stannis agrees to let Renly have the night to reconsider. However, Melisandre gives birth to a shadow creature that night, which kills Renly in front of Brienne of Tarth and Catelyn Stark. Brienne is framed for the murder and Stannis makes off with most of Renly’s forces, save for the Tyrell family’s forces.

Stannis then sails for Kings Landing, with the intent of killing Joffery and claiming the Iron Throne for himself. Melisandre stays at Dragonstone, at the behest of Davos.

Arya and Gendry (Yes, they gets their own section this season)

Does anyone get the feeling that Arya is the sort of daughter Tywin wished he had

Does anyone get the feeling that Arya is the sort of daughter Tywin wished he had

Arya is travelling North to the Wall, posing as a boy, in order to be safe from Kings Landing. She’s travelling with Gendry, a blacksmith and one of Robert Baratheon’s bastards which he is not aware of, and a few other boys. They are soon attacked by Gold-Cloaks (Kings Landing soldiers), who want Gendry arrested. Another boy, who is holding a bull-head helmet that Gendry is very fond of, is killed and claimed to be Gendry. Arya and Gendry, along with the other captives, are taken to Harrenhall where Tywin Lannister takes Arya as his cup-bearer.

She also meets Jaqen H’ghar, a captive she freed from a burning cage when the Gold Cloaks attacked, now serving as a Lannister soldier. He thanks her for freeing him and offers the chance for her to name 3 people for him to kill, since himself and the two people he was locked up escaped death. Arya names 2 people, a man who tortured the captives and a man who would have outed her to Tywin. When Tywin leaves to battle Robb’s armies, Arya misses the chance to name him as the third victim to Jaqen, but later on names Jaqen as her third when he refuses to help her escape. He helps her escape by killing multiple men in a fashion that does not arouse suspicion. Arya soon asks him to teach her how to kill as he does, but he says that he would have to come with her to Braavos, which is across the Narrow Sea. He gives her a coin that will allow her to travel to Braavos upon saying “Valor Morghulis” to any man from Braavos. He then changes his face, stunning Arya, and bids her good bye.

Kings Landing

OH MY GOD! KILL IT! KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH

OH MY GOD! KILL IT! KILL IT BEFORE IT BREEDS! AAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH

Joffery’s ascension to power has resulted in Kings Landing essentially going down the toilet. Cersei orders that due to winter coming, no more refugees are to be allowed into the capital. Stannis’ letters of Joffery’s parentage reaches them and Joffery orders all bastards of Robert’s to be killed. Several children all over the city, even babies, are killed as a result. News of the attack by wights on the Wall and Robb Stark’s peace terms are ignored. Tyrion enhances his power by getting rid of Janos Slynt, arresting Pycelle, and gaining Lancel as spy for Cersei.

After Myrcella is sent to Dorne as part of a marriage alliance, Joffery is confronted by the angry people of Kings Landing and as a result, Joffery orders them all killed. A massive city wide riot occurs where Joffery, Tyrion, and Cersei manage to escape barely, with Sansa being saved by the Hound, aka Sandor Clegane.

Sansa during this season isn’t constantly tormented by Joffery, as she has learned to fake her loyalty to him. However, in instances such as Robb winning an important battle, she is publicly beaten and stripped by Joffery’s orders, having only Tyrion save her. During the riot of Kings Landing, she is nearly raped by 3 men, who are killed by the Hound. She soon receives her first period and the Hound finds out, informing Cersei about it. She and Sansa share a moment about this.

Tyrion discovers also that King Aerys had an entire store of Wildfire, a liquid that when ignited was said to have the properties of Dragon Fire, which he plans to use against Stannis, should he attack the city. It should also be noted that Tyrion has also brought a woman that he has fallen for in Season 1, back to Kings Landing named Shae, who is serving as Sansa’s handmaid.

I guess you could say Stannis didn't have enough Fire in his belly... Get it... Fire.. Because his ships are burning... I'll shut up now.

I guess you could say Stannis didn’t have enough Fire in his belly… Get it… Fire.. Because his ships are burning… I’ll shut up now.

Stannis soon arrives at the city, with Cersei and the women locked away in a tower to protect them from the battle. Joffery is sent out to battle, along with Tyrion. Stannis’ fleet far outnumber the soldiers at Kings Landing, but Tyrion sends a ship filled with the stores of Wildfire out towards Stannis’ fleet and blows it up, resulting in Stannis losing a large portion of his forces. Stannis still leads the attack onshore and it appears that Kings Landing will soon fall to Stannis. However, Tywin Lannister, aided by the Tyrells, soon attack Stannis’ forces, driving them away with Stannis being forced to retreat.

Joffery, having been summoned away during the battle, names Tywin Hand of the King and Saviour of the City. As a favour to the Tyrells for aiding him in a time of need, he breaks his betrothal with Sansa and agrees to marry Margaery Tyrell.

The Wall and Beyond

Yeah dude, you're fucked

Yeah dude, you’re fucked

Jon is over the Wall as they search for Benjen Stark and the reason for the wight attack on the Lord Commander. Jon meets with Craster, an ally to the Nights Watch, although it is an unstable one. He discovers Craster giving a new-born to a White Walker, which Jon does not recognize, and as a result, the Night’s Watch is removed from Craster’s home. Jon and company soon reach a peak called the Fist of the First Men where they waited for allies to arrive. When they do, Jon asks to join these allies, which the Lord Commander grants. Jon goes with this new company into the pass below the peak where they ambush wildlings. Jon captures one, a woman named Ygritte, and after failing to get information out of her, is sentenced to kill her.

Jon is unable to kill her and she escapes, only to be recaptured by Jon. He is lost from his group and Ygritte and him attempt to find them, with Jon binding her like a leash so that she would not escape. However, after rejecting her sexual advances, Jon is captured by Ygritte and brought to The Lord of Bones, where Qhorin, the leader of the new group Jon had been with, is as well. He had been captured and begins to portray Jon as a traitor, so that Jon may get close to Mayne Rayder, aka The King Beyond the Wall. He insults Jon’s father and mother, to which Jon responds by killing him and gaining respect from the wildlings. He is then brought to their camp.

Across the Narrow Sea

Let's be honest... You're singing this in your head now, aren't you

Let’s be honest… You’re singing this in your head now, aren’t you

Dany has lost most of her Khalasar after her husband, Drogo’s death, and they are travelling through the desert, hoping to find shelter. Her dragons are seen in her eyes as her children and she notices that they refuse to eat the raw meat that they have been given. She soon discovers however that Dragons only eat cooked meat.

Note: The names of the Dragons are as follows:
Drogon: The black/red dragon named after her husband, Drogo.
Viserion: The cream/gold dragon named after Viserys.
Rhaegal: The green/bronze dragon named after Rhaegar.

Dany sends out her three blood-riders to search for a place for them to go to. One comes back with his head in a bag, while another comes back with an invitation to a great city known as Qarth. Dany and her Khalasar arrive there, only to be told that she will not be given entry until her dragons are presented to her. One of the council member, Xaro Xhaon Daxos, vouches for her however, and she is let into the city. Xaro allows her to stay in his home, where Dany begins to teach her dragons to cook their own food.

It is here that she finds out about Robert Baratheon’s death and resists an offer from Xaro to marry him, in exchange for funds to go back to Westeros. She also meets a warlock named Pyat Pree who invites her to visit his order, which she does not. Upon returning from trying to gain ships from the nobles of Qarth, Dany discovers that Xaro’s home is attacked, her men are all dead, and one of her handmaids and the dragons are missing. Xaro hosts a council so Dany can ask for help, only for Pyat Pree to announce that he stole the dragons and Xaro means to control the city. Pyat uses his magic to kill the other 12 council members, and tells Dany that if she wants her dragons, she will have to come to his tower.

Not the best idea, Dany

Not the best idea, Dany

Dany goes and after seeing visions of the Iron Throne and of Drogo and their son, she finds her dragons chained. She is captured by Pyat Pree and told that since the return of the Dragons, his magic has also returned. He is stronger with the dragons there, and they are stronger with Dany there, so he plans to keep them all together forever. Dany simply orders her dragons to breathe fire and they do, causing Pyat Pree to burn alive.

She confronts Xaro about his treachery, and finds her handmaid in bed with him. She takes them both to the vault where Xaro’s wealth is kept, and locks them both inside to die. She then sacks his house, taking enough gold and possessions to buy herself a ship.

My Reaction to this Season

God. Damn. That’s all I’m going to say. I have to say that the inclusion of characters such as Stannis and Balon are a welcome addition. It’s also interesting to see how the War of Five Kings is affecting Westeros as a whole, especially on Joffery. It’s interesting that throughout the season, Tyrion referenced Joffery to the Mad King, and it’s quite apparent through Joff’s actions. He’s so drunk with power that he doesn’t understand the responsibility behind it. He finds out that rumours are going around that he’s a bastard, so he kills all of Robert’s bastard children, even babies, most of them in front of their mothers. He cuts out a bard’s tongue after he plays a mocking song about Joffery, and basically orders all 12 of his personal security to kill over a hundred civilians because one of them threw cow shit at him. But that last plan backfired for sure.

I’m really not digging the Jon Snow arc this season. I don’t know why, but I find his arc very boring. Having read the books though, it’s probably because I know what he’s capable of as a whole. It’s more or less just frustrating to have to wait to see Jon reach his potential.

Robb Stark’s story is certainly one that I enjoyed, as the books don’t really go into Robb’s character that much. We hear about how he’s constantly winning battles, but we don’t see the development of Robb as clearly as we do in the show, which as I’ve mentioned, is a welcome change. It is interesting to see the old “Youth vs. Experience” situation with Robb as he’s advised against certain actions and yet chooses to do them anyways. His marriage to his new wife, Talisa, was something that I wasn’t too proud to see, since Robb is a Stark and Starks have always valued honour and pride above all else. And in Season 3, you can expect this to bite him in the ass.

Once again, I’m REALLY digging Dany’s storyline. She easily has the most growth as a character and it’s a real shame that the series doesn’t focus on her as much as I would’ve liked it to. It’s interesting how she’s learning about life and how the game of power is played, and how she can still be a kind and loving leader, whilst being able to dish out the bad-ass when it’s needed. Over all… Dany… You go girl… You go.

Changes from the Books

There is WAY too many to list here, so once again I’m cheating by giving you this link here to read through all the differences: Game of Thrones Season 2 Differences.

Verdict

This season gets a solid 9/10 from me.

Game of Thrones Review: Season 1

I was totally a Joffery when I played this game

I was totally a Joffery when I played this game

This is the big one guys! My very first 3-part review series. I’ve decided that since the world of Game of Thrones (A Song of Fire and Ice to you book fans) is WAY too immerse and in depth, the review of it should be as well. So, let’s kick off our epic trilogy by beginning where it all started. Game of Thrones Season 1. Please note, that throughout this 3-part review, there WILL be spoilers. If that displeases you, then hop back over the Wall and stay there.

The Prelude

Before I actually begin to give my thoughts about the series itself, I feel as for those who haven’t seen it or read the books, that all of this will be confusing. As I mentioned before, the world of Game of Thrones is WAY too immersive for me to sum up in a simple manner, so I’ll be only providing the following historical events.

– The White Walkers’ first attack on Westeros led to the Children of the Forest and the First Men and the Andals building a giant Wall made of ice. It stretched across the entire land, coast to coast, in order to prevent the White Walkers from ever returning to Westeros again.

– Many ages later, Aegon Targaryen and his sister-wives (Yeah, the Targaryens were into keeping the bloodline pure with incest) conquered the seven divided Kingdoms of Westeros by using 3 MOTHER. FUCKING. DRAGONS! And I’m not talking about dragons that were moderately sized, oh no. The smallest dragon would swallow a horse whole whereas the largest would cover towns in shadow as it flew overhead. Aegon Targaryen was a fucking bad-ass. That is all.

I know what I want for Christmas now, mummy

I know what I want for Christmas now, mummy

– For around 300 years, the Targaryens ruled Westeros until Aerys Targaryen, aka The Mad King, was made ruler. Years of incest had resulted in Targaryen children either being normal or being completely psychotic. Guess what Aerys is. He was so psychotic that he literally burned things just for the sheer hell of it. His actions, along with help from his son Rhaegar, resulted in the start of Robert’s Rebellion and the end of the Targaryen Dynasty. Robert Baratheon was afterwards named as the King of Westeros.

– Several years after this event is when Game of Thrones begins.

Now there are lots of families who are going to be included in this review, since the series includes more and more over time. I would give a synopsis on each one, but that’s a review all in itself. There’s also a MUCH larger background into such things as the Free Cities, The Wall, the Nights Watch, etc. If you want to find out more, please feel free to Google “Game of Thrones Wiki” and look that shit up, because I seriously wouldn’t know where to begin. Either that or Youtube “Game of Thrones Lore and History”, grab some popcorn, and enjoy 2-3 hours of detailed history.

So, without further ado… Game of Thrones. Season 1. Let’s get this bitch rolling.

Synopsis: The Seven Kingdoms

There's a whole bunch of these on the net, and I love them all

There’s a whole bunch of these on the net, and I love them all

The season begins with end of one of the longest summers coming to an end, as well as the return of the White Walkers. A member of the Nights Watch watches them kill two of his fellow Nights Watchmen. He escapes from them, or is rather let go, but instead flees over the Wall and escapes towards Winterfell, where he’s captured by the Starks. Ned Stark, the Lord of Winterfell and the Warden of the North, sentences the man to die, as a result of breaking his oath. He is then visited upon by the King of Westeros, Robert Baratheon, who was his best friend during the Rebellion and before that, as well as Robert’s family. They include wife, Cersei (The Cunt) Lannister, and 3 children, Joffery, Myrcella, and Tommen. They are escorted by guards, one of which is Jaime Lannister, Cersei’s twin brother, and their younger dwarf brother, Tyrion. During this time, Jon Snow, Ned’s bastard decides to join the Nights Watch.

Robert informs Ned that his former Hand, Jon Arryn, has passed away and he is asking Ned to formerly become the new Hand of the King. While this is going on, Bran, one of Ned’s younger sons, discovers that Cersei and Jaime are actually incestuous fuck buddies and as a result, Jaime throws him from a window’s edge in an attempt to kill him. Bran survives, but has no recollection of the event, as well as losing the use of his legs. Later, an attempt is made on his life, but is thwarted by his pet Direwolf. Catelyn Stark, Ned’s wife, insists that to find out who hurt Bran, Ned would have to go to Kings Landing in order to find out who it is.

So Ned and his daughters go to Kings Landing, where his eldest daughter Sansa is due to be wed to Joffery, and Arya is to learn more about how it is to be a lady, since she’s a bit wild. While in Kings Landing, Ned enlists the help of Petyr Baelish, aka LittleFinger, into finding out who killed Jon Arryn and who would hurt Bran. Cersei proves to be a cunt throughout the whole season. Literally, that is her character. To be a bitch. Oh and have sexy times with her twin brother, her cousin, and god knows who else, but whatever.

This should so be an ad

This should so be an ad

Tyrion, aka the Imp, goes to the Wall for a little bit before being captured by the Tullys, Catelyn’s family, and is brought to Catelyn’s sister who was Jon Arryn’s wife. Tyrion is accused of being the one who tried to kill Bran and is sentenced to Trial by Combat. He picks a sellsword named Bronn as his Champion and wins the Trial. He is set free and returns to Kings Landing.

Meanwhile, after digging around in the archives, Ned discovers that Joffery and his siblings are in fact the children of Cersei and Jaime, not Cersei and Robert. He tells Cersei that he will inform Robert about this when he returns from his hunting trip, but Robert is gravely injured during the trip. Upon return to Kings Landing, he names Ned the Steward of the Kingdoms until his heir is of age. Ned informs Cersei about this, who has already made Joffery, King. Ned organizes a coup against Cersei and Joffery, only to be double-crossed by Littlefinger.

Ned is put to trial and at the behest of Sansa and Cersei, Joffery agrees to give mercy if Ned announces himself as a traitor. Being a proud man, Ned finally puts it away as he does as he is bid. But Joffery orders the execution regardless and Ned is beheaded in front of Sansa, and Arya who is in the crowd of people and whisked away for her safety.

I literally have a calendar dedicated to this

I literally have a calendar dedicated to this

One thing that needs to be addressed: Joffery is a fucking psychopath. No really, he is literally one of the most hated characters on the show. THAT is how much of a psycho he is. He beheads Ned, and then “surprises” Sansa by showing her, Ned’s head on a spike, next to her Septa’s head. Basically, he gets joy out of other people’s pain and he believes that as the King, he’s invincible and can do whatever he likes. He also is the one responsible for Bran’s assassination attempt. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO NOT SPANK YOUR CHILDREN, PARENTS!

While all this is going on, Robb Stark, Ned’s eldest son, is Lord of Winterfell in his father’s place and shit goes on while Ned’s away. He saves Bran from some Wildings who have crossed the Wall, is a smart-ass to Tyrion, etc. But upon hearing about his father’s capture, he declares war on the Lannisters. Robb rallies support from fellow Northerners and in the process, is forced into an arranged marriage for the support of Walder Frey, since he controls a vital area of the North. The news of his father’s death hurts him greatly, especially since he had planned on using Jaime as a bargaining chip for Ned, Sansa, and Arya.

Theon Greyjoy was a ward/hostage of Ned’s who was taken in by the Warden of the North during the Rebellion of the Iron-born. Nothing really important happens to him this season, apart from fucking a whore… Oh and swearing fealty to Robb when he goes to war.

Hey, he's keepin' it in the family

Hey, he’s keepin’ it in the family

Jaime Lannister, aka The King-Slayer,  doesn’t have that much of an interesting season in the start, apart from some character development. Once Tyrion is taken by the Tullys, he confronts Ned in a battle on the streets and during it, Ned is injured by one of the Lannister bannermen. Jaime decides to let Ned go, since the battle was not won by him fairly and is then chastised about it by his father, Tywin. Jaime is then given an army by Tywin to counter the Starks and Tullys, but it captured by Robb Stark and confesses to throwing Bran out the window, but doesn’t say why.

In other words, when Ned Stark dies, shit hits the fan motherfuckers.

Synopsis: The Wall

George R.R. Martin HAD to have had this in his mind when he was writing the story

George R.R. Martin HAD to have had this in his mind when he was writing the story

Jon arrives at Castle Black, located on the Wall and has more of an advantage over the other recruits when it comes to skills like swordplay, having been raised by Ned as though he were a true-born son of his. To counter the jealously of the others, as well as to repent for ridiculing them, Jon agrees to help them with their training. Upon finishing his training, Jon is inducted into the Night’s Watch as a steward to the Lord Commander, rather than as a Ranger. Jon is upset, but soon realizes that he’s been picked because the Lord Commander has taken a liking to Jon. One night, the Lord Commander is attacked by a wight (a dead body brought back by White Walker magic) and is saved by Jon. He gives Jon his family’s sword, since he has disowned his own son and has no heir so to speak. Or as he calls it, “A bastard sword for a bastard”. By the way, it’s not meant as an insult, since bastard swords are a type of sword. Look it up.

Jon hears about Ned’s arrest and contemplates leaving the Nights Watch to join Robb’s forces. It isn’t until Ned is killed that Jon runs away to join Robb, only to be stopped by the recruits he had helped earlier. The Lord Commander says that the threat of White Walkers far outweighs the troubles of the Kingdoms and that Jon will join them when they march beyond the Wall to find Benjen Stark, who went missing, as well as find out if the White Walkers have truly returned.

Synopsis: Over the Narrow Sea

Yes, Daenerys Targaryen’s story is SO bad-ass that it gets its own section.

That smile indicates how much she's secretly looking forward to sexy times with this guy

That subtle smile indicates how much she’s secretly looking forward to sexy times with this guy

Daenerys and Viserys Targaryen are in the continent of Essos, which is east of Westeros, across the Narrow Sea. Dany is married off to Khal Drogo, the leader of one of the largest Dothraki tribes. Dany is a shy and timid girl who does not wish to marry Drogo, but Viserys wishes it so that Drogo will give Viserys command of the Dothraki army and march on Westeros to reclaim his throne. They are also accompanied by Ser Jorah Mormont, the son of the Lord Commander at Castle Black. As a wedding gift, Dany is given 3 dragon eggs, which have become stone over the ages and said to no longer hold the life of a dragon within.

It should be noted that House Targaryen’s sigil is a 3-headed dragon.

Dany at first isn’t happy about her marriage to Drogo, but soon finds herself growing to embrace the Dothraki culture and her husband. Viserys is clearly upset about this, as Drogo does not live up to his side of the deal… Well… Not exactly. Drogo claims that he will allow Viserys to use his army when the timing is right according to Dothraki customs. Viserys, having seen the Dothraki give Dany the love that only a Queen would have, threatens to kill Dany’s child, who is still in the womb, if Drogo does not give him what was promised. Drogo complies and proceeds to give Viserys a golden crown fit for a king… Literally, he gives Viserys a golden crown… You know… Like the crown on you head… Covered in molten gold… Searing heat… Yeah.

Hey, he wasn't specific about that shit. So technically, he got what he asked for.

Hey, he wasn’t specific about that shit. So technically, he got what he asked for.

Dany watches this and proclaims that on the contrary to what Viserys had thought, he was no true Dragon. It should be noted that the Targaryen bloodline was capable of producing those who called themselves a Dragon. Individuals that were able to be unharmed by flames. The books go into more detail, in that they were able to have visions of the future, but this isn’t displayed in the series. Regardless, Dany’s pregnancy moves on until she encounters women about to be raped, during one of the Dothraki raids. She manages to convince her husband to save the women and Drogo is injured in a fight, brought on by a fellow Dothraki who wanted the women to be his, as by Dothraki rights.

Drogo’s wound gets infected and Dany begs for the one of the women, who calls herself a maegi (Someone who practices Blood Magic) to heal her husband. During the ritual, Dany goes into labour and is brought to the maegi for aid. Dany soon awakens to find that her husband is alive, but he is nothing but a vegetable. She also finds out that her child was stillborn with lizard-like scales, bat wings, was blind and his skin fell from the bone at touch and that his death was paid for Drogo’s life.

When confronted about this, the maegi said that before Dany had saved her, she had been raped 3 times, saw her temples burn, and saw children she had healed being killed in the streets. After smothering Drogo with a pillow out of empathy, Dany constructs a pyre for Drogo to be burned on. She has the maegi tied to the pyre to burn along with her husband. She also places her dragon eggs on the pyre. It is lit and moments later, Dany walks into the fire to the shock of the remaining Khalasar.

Valid point

Valid point

When the flames clear and pyre is ash, Dany is seen sitting on the ground, naked, and surrounded by 3 dragons, which had hatched from the eggs. The Dothraki, along with Mormont, fall to their knees and proclaim Dany as their leader and queen.

My Favourite Character

So fucking true. She needs her own show.

So fucking true. She needs her own show.

Daenerys. I mean, out of ALL the characters this season, she’s the one who evolved the most on screen. She started as a shy and timid princess who was basically the property of her brother, Viserys. She’s then married off to a complete bad-ass like Drogo and then over time, begins to gain confidence in herself and then is able to stand up to Viserys. She doesn’t even cry when he’s killed. Despite all this, she’s still got that kind and loving side to her as the Dothraki loved her and she wanted her husband to show mercy to the people who they raided. Ultimately, when her unborn son and husband are all dead, she understands the true meaning of life, as the maegi told her, that without that which we value and cherish, we are nothing. And then by the end of it all, she has 3 motherfucking dragons. Not 1. Not 2. BUT 3! Seriously, how BAD-ASS is that shit! Having read the books, I know what happens later on, but STILL! 3 MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS!!!

My Favourite Villain

Oh fuck the hell yes

Oh fuck the hell yes

Tywin Lannister. Oh my god, I love this guy to death. He is literally the Game of Thrones’ version of the Magnificent Bastard. He is calculating, intelligent, and ruthless and literally the richest man in the Seven Kingdoms. Hell, he is SO ruthless that he ended House Rayne of Castamere SO epically that they made a song about it. And whenever someone pisses off Tywin, all he has to do is send someone to play “The Rains of Castamere” to them, and they immediately buckle. This cemented the Lannister motto “A Lannister always pays his debts” and it is something that he and his children live by.

I won’t go into why I love this guy as a villain, since his bad-ass is more explored in Season 2 and 3, but rest assured that if Tywin is pissed at you… You just fucking run away to the other side of the Wall or the Narrow Sea.

Changes from the Books

I'ma kill your ass and then resurrect you to be my bitch

I’ma kill your ass and then resurrect you to be my bitch

There are actually quite a few changes in the series when they’re compared to the books. One of the main changes is the White Walkers. In the books, they have white skin and reflective armour. In the series, they have grey skin that appears frozen, have a face that looks as though it were a skull, and they’re not seen wearing armour. The White Walkers are also referred to as Others by those in the Seven Kingdoms and only called White Walkers by the wildlings on the other side of the Wall.

Another change was the age of the children in the show. This is mainly due to the fact that the series starts 17 years after Robert’s Rebellion, whereas the books starts 14 years after the Rebellion. Therefore, all the children are 3 years older on the series than their book counterparts.

Another thing was the Targaryens were supposed to have purple eyes in the books, but the series decided against this since the actor’s emotions were unable to be conveyed through their eyes.

If I listed all the differences, it would honestly take WAY too much time. So just go to http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Differences_between_books_and_TV_series_-_Season_1 if you want to see all the differences in Season 1.

My Thoughts

When I was told about this show, I was told that it was basically a rip-off of Lord of the Rings, minus the magic rings. It put me off from watching the show for the first 2 seasons, but I ultimately came around and began watching it. And man, was I NOT disappointed. This show literally is one of the best shows on television at the moment. The characters are so realistic and have such a depth to them all. While we all love to hate the Lannisters, you DO see that the children are all like this due to Tywin holding the family name to such a high regard. You see that Joffery is an asshole because his mother spoon-fed him tales of how when he was king, he could do what he liked. That, along with the fact that Robert never actually bonded with his “son”.

And the storyline… Man, oh man, the storyline is intense. It’s filled with everything. Drama, action, romance, comedy, all of it. And the amount of in-depth history and lore of the fictional universe really do make it spring to life. The history ACTUALLY dates back 10,000 years from the start of the series. Seriously, look it up. There is about 2-3 hours of footage that explains the entire history of the Game of Thrones universe.

It’s clear that I’m a MASSIVE fan of this show, if I’m willing to write a review about this show to the level that I’m writing at, at the moment. If you haven’t seen this show yet… The fuck are you doing? Go to JB-Hi-Fi, buy the first 2 seasons and watch that shit. And then Season 3 hits the shelves, buy that and watch it!

This show gets a clear 9.5/10 from me.

Game of Thrones: The Review is Coming

Ok, so since I’m sitting here working on my Game of Thrones review, I figured that since the world is so expansive and detailed, my review of it should be as well. Therefore, I have decided to split my review into 3 parts, one for each season. I won’t do a review on the book series, since it appears that more people are into the show than the books at the moment. I have read each book however, so there may be some references to it, in terms of what was left out in the series, or what was added in.

So tomorrow, prepare thyselves.

My ass would be perfect on that thing

My ass would be perfect on that thing

BLOGGERS KOMBAT!

First and foremost: These are blogs that have made me want to write this post for today.

http://leesalittle.com/2013/09/15/big-brother-australias-cheating-controversy/
And
http://leesalittle.com/2013/09/16/79/

… I don’t even know where to begin. As a fan of Ed, along with Matt, who sadly got evicted, and Tahan, I can safely say that I’m not really happy with the amount of attention that the blogger of the above links are saying about this… *clears throat* “Cheating Controversy”.

“Lessa Little” as she is known by, has caused quite a little stir within a very small faction of the BBAU fans by posting about how it’s unethical for Ed’s family to be “pimping” him out for votes to save him. While I do agree that it may not be the best course of action, I don’t think that it warrants 2 blog posts about the situation. Hell, I think a small blog post, saying that you’re disappointed about it would’ve been more than sufficient. But not, you chose to take a much bigger course of action than what needed to be taken. Even the Producers of the show have stated that the family is not breaking any rules by hosting this small competition, and yet you find that insufficient. But yet you have no problem with Kate Deraugo’s father handing out credit when she was in Australian Idol, so people could vote for her. You simply replied back “This is not Australian Idol. Besides, two wrongs don’t make a right.”. No, they don’t. But double standards are also something that are not right.

Ok, so Kate Deraugo on Australian Idol and Ed Lower is on Big Brother Australia. Kate was competing to represent our country on a global scale in the music industry. Ed is competing to win $250k for himself, with no global recognition whatsoever. And you think that the LATTER is more of an important issue than the former one? Way to prioritize. I’ve also had a little peek at this blogger’s blog and after reading all 4 posts, 3 of them mention Ed in a negative fashion. So what does this have to say? That she’s simply a hater of Ed. Simple as that. The same can be said about her Twitter Page at https://twitter.com/Leesa_Bug where her and her new bff, ex housemate Rohan, are simply doing whatever they can to get their Anti-Ed campaign off the ground. The last time I checked, Big Brother was NOT all about Ed. Hell, there’s not even a freakin’ Drully post in there, or even a post about Ed’s relationship with Jade. Just purely a hate vendetta against his family because they’re using a strategy that none of the other housemates’ familes are using. Also, if you’re against this whole “cheating” thing, then why not call out Tahan’s boyfriend for unfairly promoting her at his races?

But let me get this straight:

You claim to be making a Big Brother blog on your Twitter, but it only has 5 posts on it, 4 about Big Brother, 3 of them directed at Ed directly. Yeah, you’re not not making a Big Brother blog, you’re making a Hate Ed blog. There’s a difference.

You also stated this on your Twitter:

“Tired of responding individually to haters. Here’s my generic response: pic.twitter.com/QKimdWDnnD

So judging by the picture, you simply are nothing more than a pathetic little troll who has nothing better to do with her time. And then there’s your little BFF relationship with Rohan. Go figure, since he was never really close with Xaiver and Jasmin… OH WAIT, Rohan wasn’t close with anyone. No one really liked him and he was forgotten almost immediately after he left. He got evicted pretty much right away after being introduced into the house. He’s nothing more than a bitter soul who just craves the attention of others, since he’s pissed about being booted out so early. NEWSFLASH ROHAN, YOU WERE BOOTED OUT FOR BEING BORING! NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK. Master of Physical and Psychological Games… Bitch please, I’ve seen 3 year olds who can wipe the floor with your pathetic mental games… Clearly you don’t remember this:

Wow. I guess Tahan has bigger balls than you, dude. You scream like a little girl. And THIS is the person who you have backing you, Leesa? Yep, all credibility is out of the window for sure now.

But I posted up a comment on the first link on her site, stating that while I agreed it was unethical, which isn’t the debate of this blog, I believed that she was simply exaggerating an issue that in reality was nothing. This comment was up for moderation, and then subsequently removed.

So instead of being potentially censored, which is the lowest of the lows in the blogging world, I’ve written this blog post ENTIRELY dedicated to this fail troll and her little minion, Rohan, so that I can not be censored.

Also, THIS is the comment that I posted on her latest hate blog post against Ed. Whether she accepted it or not, I don’t know. But you know now.

I think you’re just hating on someone who’s clearly using the advantages they’ve been given. Tahan’s race-car boyfriend is promoting her at his races, does that count as cheating as well? The producers don’t care because they’re not losing anything out of it. But in the end of the day, it’s a reality TV show. No one really cares about what the hell goes on because in a month or so’s time, it’ll all be forgotten. And it’s a bit hypocritical that you disregard the instance in Australian Idol, since that would probably be a much more bigger offense… since you know… The winner represents our country in the musical world? Big Brother is just a bunch of people in a house, competing for $250k. There’s no global recognition for it.

Rohan’s opinion on the matter shouldn’t even be considered, since he was booted out pretty much right away. I get the vibe that he’s more or less holding a grudge against those in the house, since he was booted out so early into the game. He’s also attempting to keep himself in the public eye since he wasn’t that popular of a housemate to begin with. Hell, even the housemates themselves have forgotten completely about him to the point that Tim can’t even remember what he looked like. He had himself pegged as a “loves to play games – both sporting and psychological.”, which we saw NOTHING of in the house at all. He made no effort to mix with the others, he came off as disrespectful to Ben’s sexual preference, and he was generally disliked by most of the house-mates. As I said earlier, the ONLY reason he’s still going on about this, is because he probably holds a grudge for being evicted so early and to keep himself in the public’s eye.

And since we’re all about the opinions of ex-housemates, why not link what Xaiver said about the situation, since he and Rohan were both evicted at the same time? Oh that’s right, you had a verbal tiff with him about the situation and then deleted tweets that you made towards him, because he defended someone he considered a friend.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BUU6YSBCEAM52sR.jpg <– Did we forget about this? Go figure.

Or what about this little tweet?

“Being forced off twitter as @JazzBellBB & @xavbait have levelled their fans at me for my blog about #Ed. I actually liked Xavier too. Hmph.”

You claimed that owned Xaiver and Jasmin, and yet it appears you’re the one who gets owned.

But seeing as, like the last post you made, you clearly don’t like people opposing you and making comments that disagree with your posts. So since that’s the case, I’ll just make a blog post of my own, saying that you’re nothing more than a biased little troll who has nothing better to do with their own time. I’m also fairly confident that you’re not going to let me post this comment onto your blog, since you’re clearly afraid of being owned, so I’ll be posting this on my own blog, so that everyone knows EXACTLY what I have to say about it.

I’ll even show some level of mercy and link your blog posts in it, so that people can read them and see what a joke you really are.

So the next time you TRY to come off as intelligent, do me a favour and remember this saying:
Don’t go screaming bloody murder when you’re the one with blood on your hands.

EDIT

Having spoken to the person who this blog is aimed at, it’s clear that Leesa is more interested in the amount of people who agree with her, rather than the fact that I’m calling her out on being a troll. Such LOVELY comments were thrown around like:

Please note, I am NOT going to upload the entire conversation, because frankly Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Dat

Leesa: I can respond to criticism, and I have. I will engage in intelligent discussion but what you have posted is anything but.
Me: I write like that on my blog because that is my writing style. But you’re just hating because someone is playing the game

Leesa: @dragonsfan1988 Your blog entry was a very vicious, hateful, personal attack against me. I write facts, you write hate.
Me: Funny, that’s exactly what you did to Ed and his family. Go figure. And pray tell where the viciousness in it is.
Leesa: @dragonsfan1988 I leveled the playing field, it’s info people wanted, otherwise they wouldn’t have shared it. Nothing personal, nothing rude
Me: @Leesa_Bug So why not mention Tahan and her race-car boyfriend? He’s promoting her at his race events. And why focus on Ed specifically?
Leesa: @dragonsfan1988 I did. You are having trouble (again) with facts. This is not going well for you.
Me: @Leesa_Bug What, like a couple of sentences at most? Hardly fair when Ed’s getting 3 whole blog posts dedicated to him.

Leesa: @dragonsfan1988 I have news for you, 77% agree with me. Actual number, actual fact. Sorry buddy but you’ve come at the wrong person here.
Me: @Leesa_Bug It’s also a fact that most of viewers of Big Brother are prepubescent teens who generally do not make the best choices. Go figure

Leesa: @dragonsfan1988 again, 77% agree with me. We’ll see how YOU go. As for me, I’m done here. Have a nice day & best of luck with your blog.
Me: @Leesa_Bug What demographic of the community is this 77%? Teenage girls?
Me: @Leesa_Bug I don’t care if anyone agrees with me or not. I’m not the one flaunting it around, because I’m being called out on being a troll.

In response to this “vicious” post (Since writing in this style makes me a vicious and hateful person apparently), she made another blog post where she explains her reasoning for this.

http://leesalittle.com/2013/09/18/a-response/

And allow me to share my opinions about the following quotes from her blog post, since she’ll obviously censor me again in voicing my opinion:

“But it’s not actually against the rules?”
-The rules are too loose to actually allow BB to address this. Besides, the point that the public is starting to make is that BB is only thinking of the bottom line- making money. Six nominees EVERY week and voting to save, as opposed to the previous three nominees and voting to evict. Seems that there was more money to be made and they found a way to do it. Similarly, there’s always this: “the housemate with the most votes to save will get an advantage this week! So get voting!” Well, that one was a little transparent.

If there are no rules against this, WHY is there a problem again? It’s like that electricity challenge in The Block All Stars with Dan and Dani & Josh and Jenna. Yes, it’s not ethical, but in all honesty, who the hell really cares?

“You seem to have a personal vendetta.”
-No, I’m levelling the playing field. I believe in the fairness of the game. Before Ed’s dark side started to emerge, I was actually a fan of his. It was only after I began to notice his bigger picture that I wrote the original post.

Yes, that’s why you now have 4 posts dedicated ENTIRELY to Ed. A humble person would’ve said what they had to have said and move on from it. It’s clear that you’re loving the attention and now are trying to milk more of it.

“It’s just a game. It’s just a show.”
-Of course it is. It’s a very entertaining pass-time for us. However, the other contestants who have not cheated are fairly and honestly trying to win the $250,000. This is why the information is important, Ed could very well rob a deserving winner.

Yes, because a racist person like Mikkayla, a mentally unstable person such as Tully, an asshole like Tim, two boring sisters who just sit around doing nothing like Katie and Lucy, an unemployed 31 year old man-child like Ben, and a home-wrecking hussy like Drew REALLY deserve to win $250,000. At the end of the day, it’s a personal vendetta against Ed, because he’s using a tactic that no one else thought of.

“What about the Australian Idol scandal?”
Ahhhhh what? This is Big Brother, not Australian Idol. Different network, different show. Besides all else (whatever you’re even referring to), two wrongs don’t make a right.

… Wow… Way to include double standards, lady… It’s ok for other shows and networks to do this sort of thing, but JUST because it happens on Big Brother, it’s World War III.

But it’s clear that this person is more interested in gaining a public following by constantly attempting to bring down a housemate who’s just starting to come out of his shell and start playing the game in house. After all, 77% of people agree with her. By the way, it’s 73.35% now. Get your facts right.

Also, I’d like to note that I will NEVER stop anyone from commenting on my page. Freedom of Speech is a given right, and as I am exercising mine in this post, I invite others to express theirs if they wish to debate this issue. Positive or Negative, I welcome your comments.

The Walking Dead – An Undead Review

See? Zombies aren't bad. They're just misunderstood

See? Zombies aren’t bad. They’re just misunderstood

The Walking Dead. If you HAVEN’T seen this show by now, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! This show is easily one of the most entertaining shows on television at the moment, and it’s very clear why.

But before I start going into what’s so good about the show, I should probably give the low-down on what it’s exactly about.
The Walking Dead is about a Zombie Apocalypse hitting the world, and how a group of survivors are dealing with it, whilst trying to survive. I’m not going to give too much good stuff away, but the start of the series is kinda like the start to 28 Days Later, when our protagonist, Rick, wakes up in the hospital after getting shot. He, of course, has NO idea about the zombie apocalypse and learns about it very quickly from other survivors. He then goes to search for his wife and son, which only takes about 3 episodes, so you don’t have to wait long.

But as it turns out, his best friend has the hots for his wife, so drama starts there, along with all the other survivors’ problems.

What’s so good about The Walking Dead

I'm not going to lie, I'm so finding a mod for this

I’m not going to lie, I’m so finding a mod for this

First and foremost, the attention to detail with the zombies is amazing. And I mean, it REALLY is amazing. The make-up people CLEARLY knew what they were doing when they made all the extras into zombies. Hanging bits of flesh, skin ripped off, missing limbs, it’s all there. It’s movie quality stuff in a television show, which is something I love. I also love the fact that these are classic Romero zombies. They aren’t like the 2004 Dawn of the Dead where the zombies are capable of running, etc. Or like the Resident Evil franchise where the zombies are mutations of dead people (In the latest one, which I’ll review at some point, the zombies can use guns… I shit you not. Guns.). These are classic, slow moving zombies who upon biting or scratching will infect you and turn you. There is a MAJOR spoiler to this as well, which I’m not going to go into. Watch the show to find out how exactly the infection works.

The people are realistic. Yep. That’s right. Not those Mary and Gary Sues who are perfect in every way. These are people with flaws and imperfections. They start off the series so naive about everything, it’s a miracle they’ve survived (Obviously, since they’re the main cast), but as time moves on, they become more and more effective at knowing who to trust and how to deal with larger groups of zombies. The real issue of survival. This is constantly shown throughout the series. Survival of the Fittest, keeping one’s humanity, walking a line between moral ambiguity, this is all stuff that honestly would come to light in an extreme survival situation. How far are you willing to go to survive? Will you take the word of the injured person who tells you they’re not bitten? Will you raid other survivors for their supplies? All these and more are constantly addressed in the show.

A lot of people have crictised the show for not really having a plot or a storyline, which is kind of true. The Survivors aren’t out to find a cure, or to find the source of the infection, etc. They’re just surviving. And that’s what I love the most about The Walking Dead. It’s different from your typical Zombie Apocalypse situation. In Resident Evil, the basis is about curing the T-Virus and as of late, by using Alice’s blood. But this show? A group of strangers brought together by something that’s beyond any of their control and being forced to work together. It’s not just epic… It’s realistic. I know there are zombies and shit, but it’s still a realistic take on it.

What’s so bad about The Walking Dead

It's just like in Dragon Ball Z. Enemy is powering up, so just wait for them to finish instead of cheap-shoting like a boss

It’s just like in Dragon Ball Z. Enemy is charging up an attack that can kill you? Wait patently, because to interrupt them is rude

Endless Ammunition seems to exist here. I mean, when you’re stuck constantly in one place, such as the farm in Season 2, you can only get so much ammo from a town that’s been cleaned out. There are times that they just fire off bullets as though they’ve entered the cheat code for infinite ammo. This is addressed later on however as they start turning to melee weapons, such as machetes and blunt objects to take down the zombies, as making noise attracts more zombies. Also, the times when some episodes feel like a drag does get on my nerves. This happens frequently in the second season. Let’s face it, we’re only watching this see zombies getting killed. We don’t want to entirely see people dealing with issues, finding out revelations, secret love affairs, etc. That stuff’s good for shows like Days of our Lives. We tune in for Zombie Action. Give us what we want.

But the biggest thing would have to be the sheer stupidity of some of the characters. Wow. Like seriously, if they existed in the real world, they’d be dead. Like straight away. One instance is where Carl, Rick’s son, finds a zombie stuck in the mud and is unable to move. Carl kinda plays with the zombie, by throwing rocks at it and sees how close he can get to it, before the zombie reaches out and grabs him. Yep, he’s f–ked, I think to myself. But no, he breaks free, without a mark, and runs away. Later that night, the SAME zombie kills off one of the main cast. That kid LITERALLY killed someone because he refused to kill the zombie. You see a zombie, you kill it. Instantly. Silently. No questions about it. As the series progresses, this problem is dealt with and rectified though. The group become extremely efficient at killing Zombies, even going as far as to clear out a prison infested with undead with about 6 people. 6. Fucking. People. Vs. a horde of zombies.

Seriously, this should've happened in the show. This bitch needed her head shot SO badly

Seriously, this should’ve happened in the show. This bitch needed her head shot SO badly

There are a LOT more details I can go into about this show, but frankly that would just take up WAY too much space. Out of 10, I would DEFINITELY give this show a 8/10. It’s a good watch, and with Halloween next month, it’s definitely something to have a marathon with friends with. Just make sure that you turn off all the lights, lock your doors and windows, and keep a fat friend close by so that if you get attacked by zombies, you have someone to sacrifice while you get away.