Smack Your Children

I swear to God, there is no sound worse than a screaming child.

I swear to God, there is no sound worse than a screaming child.

I’ve been noticing a somewhat alarming trend, as of late, when it comes to this current generation of children. And what I’ve noticed is that they are literally the most spoiled generation of children to date. Seriously, Richie Rich doesn’t have it as good as some of these little bastards. Working in retail in the electronics department, I see a lot of parents coming up to the counter with their children and basically being ordered to purchase the latest game for them, with certain children going as far as to hitting their parents when they don’t get what they want. Note that these are not 2-3 year old children. I’m talking like 8-12. Yep. Kids who are nearly teenagers are throwing tantrums that would put Angelica Pickles on show. THAT is scary.

But what exactly is it about this generation of children that differs greatly from previous ones? Let’s delve into that shall we?


Oh shit, this bitch liked a photo of my teddy. She's down to drink milk

Oh shit, this bitch liked a photo of my teddy. She’s down to drink milk

This is the major contributing factor to why kids are growing up a lot more smart (ass) these days. They have a wide open world that’s available to them on a computer screen, and are now being taught from as young as kindergarten to operate a computer/iPod/iPad/Batmobile. Mind you, that’s just being taught at school. Kids as young as 2 are learning how to use an iPad, thanks to their parents. I’ll delve into why parents are fucking morons a little later on. But it’s thanks to the current boom in technology that children are learning new phrases and habits much more earlier than what would be a normal pace for them. I mean when I was a kid, all I had was a nice big park down the road to play sports in, a Mega Drive that only had Sonic the Hedgehog 1-3 + Knuckles, a fuckton of colouring books, and a couple of action figures. That’s it.

Today, I’ve seen fucking babies with iPods and iPads, watching some crap called Yo Gabba Gabba. And that also brings me to my next point.

Children’s TV Shows

... My fucking childhood... In one picture... Fuck, I'm going to cry now...

… My fucking childhood… In one picture… Fuck, I’m going to cry now…

Back when I was a kid, growing up in the 90’s, which was easily the best time era ever, we didn’t have this bullshit like Bratz, Ben 10, or any of that other shit. We had AWESOME cartoons like:
Hey Arnold
Dexter’s Laboratory
Rocko’s Modern Life
Angry Beavers
Johnny Bravo
DragonBall Z
Pokemon (First Series only, the new ones sucks balls)
Avatar: The Last Airbender (Ok that wasn’t made in the 90’s but fuck you, it’s still a good show)

Back in my day as a kid, cartoons were actually targeted towards children and always had a somewhat pleasant feel to them. They didn’t exist, simply so that kids would go to buy the toys for Ben 10 and Bratz. They taught us life lessons. How you may ask? Well here are some examples:
Rugrats: Tommy Pickles taught us to be brave in the face of new and strange things that may be scary.
Arthur: The entire fucking show was nothing BUT life lessons in morality.
Hey Arnold: Arnold taught us to always have morals and respect.

Don'tcha wish your daughter was a slut like me?  Don'tcha wish your daughter was a whore like me?  Don'tcha?

Don’tcha wish your daughter was a slut like me?
Don’tcha wish your daughter was a whore like me?

Kid shows nowadays are nothing more than 30 minute ads so that your kids can run up to you later on and beg you to buy the latest alien toy that just came out on Ben 10. I mean, seriously guys. You cannot tell me that a show like Bratz has anything over Sailor Moon. Bitchy girls who think that being a total slut and dressing in slutty clothes means that they have a passion for fashion? Bitch please, Sailor Moon and her friends fought monsters from OTHER DIMENSIONS! They are not pretty little girls who like to slut it out for the boys… Mostly.

Parents, I ask you to simply sit down with your kids and watch some of the shows that they are watching. You’ll honestly be more shocked than you had originally hoped for.


That motherfucker turned off Dora the Explorer. No one turns off Dora the Explorer.  No one.

That motherfucker turned off Dora the Explorer. No one turns off Dora the Explorer.
No one.

Yeeeeep. Video games. This is one of the biggest contributors for kids being total bastards nowadays. And who’s to blame? Parents. Simple as that. The amount of times I’ve had a parent come into the store to buy their 8 year old child either Black Ops 2, GTA V, or some other game like that, honestly astounds me. The games are CLEARLY rated MA15+ or R18+, AND YOU STILL BUY THEM FOR YOUR CHILDREN?! What is WRONG with you people? My parents actually BANNED me from watching The Simpsons, because it was deemed as being too rude.  THE FUCKING SIMPSONS!!! And here you are, allowing your children to play games that put them in the middle of a war-zone or to strive to be the biggest drug-dealing pimp in the city.

Spoiled Children and Stupid Parents

God knows this bitch needed a good smack when she was this age

God knows this bitch needed a good smack when she was this age

Yep. Parents. Your turn now. The parents I see that literally spoil their child rotten makes me want to give the parents a good slap in the face and remind them who the boss of their children are. I’ve actually told parents to stand up to their kids and say no to them, since the parents were complaining to their child about how expensive a toy or game is, yet the child bitches back and the parent caves in. I tell them that they’re the adults and the child listens to you, not the other way around. Most common response I get: “Oh I don’t want to make them upset”.

FUCK THE CHILD BEING UPSET! Seriously, you are NOT psychologically damaging your child by showing them that they are not the center of the universe. Spoiling them will psychologically damage them. I know that you want your child to be happy and nothing brings a bigger smile to your face than seeing your kid get something they want. But like everything in life, there is a limit to these things. You can NOT tell me that you are doing the child a service by giving them everything they want. That just leads to your child getting the expectation that whenever they want something, all they have to do is bitch and moan about it until Mummy or Daddy give it to them. Parents need to step the fuck up.

When you get that look from Mum or Dad, you just run. Run away and do NOT look back.

When you get that look from Mum or Dad, you just run. Run away and do NOT look back.

When I was a kid and I was being a bitch by crying over a toy, Dad just had to give me ONE look and I was just silent as the grave. THAT is what you need. Parents need to start disciplining their children again. And this leads to me to my next point.


This is all it takes, parents. This is all you gotta do to get a somewhat disciplined child.

This is all it takes, parents. This is all you gotta do to get a somewhat disciplined child.

It’s really easy guys. Smack. Your. Children. Simple as that. A good smack on the bum or a smack on the hand is enough for the child to see that you are not fucking around when you say no. Now, I’m not condoning the parents that literally beat their children. I am totally against parents being abusive to their kids. But parents these days have gone soft. It’s as simple as that. Children no longer fear them and know that by pushing the right buttons, they will walk all over their parents. Parents needs to look at how they were raised as children, and implement it into their own parenting skills. I know people who have been smacked by their parents and they turned out to be respectable members of society. Hell, my best friend’s father was in the military for 10 years and he borderline abused his son by smacking him with belts and shit. And yet my friend turned to be a normal person… Well… Kind of normal, but that’s beside the point.

Parents, you need to start growing a pair. If your kid is screaming and being a little shit, do NOT buy them that toy they want so you can shut them up. Do NOT buy them McDonalds if they’re constantly complaining. Generally, just don’t reward your child’s bad behavior.

Tough Love is the best kind of love you can give a child. And I’m speaking from 25 years of life experience with that one.


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